HAVA NAGILA

(nice and legal)

my neighbour in the tiny hat next door

gives me a wink at half past four.

his room goes dark and his hands are tied.

and the switch is right there, at my side.

I'm the shabbos goy — I press without the sin,

and the shekel drops in.

the light was never against the law.

the hand was — that is all.

every rule has a door in the wall,

and I'm the one they keep it for.

baby goy, baby goy —

every law has a baby goy.

it ain't no cheat, it ain't no crime —

so when do I get one of mine?

muu-muu-uu-uu-uu…

muu-muu-muu-muu-muu-muu-uu-uu-uu…

come on, baby goy — turn the lights o-o-on…

muu-muu-muu-muu-uu-uu-uu…

they sweep the house down to a crumb,

then hide the bread where it will be found,

and hunt it all night with a candle in hand —

thieves on their home ground.

and when the fast has shut the sacred mouth,

there's a second kind of candle. (from behind)

caffeine, for the head up north —

the fast said mouth. it never said south.

every loophole needs a hole.

for an ordinary person that candle is just

— AAAAAAANNNAL!

baby goy, baby goy —

every law has a baby goy.

it ain't no cheat, it ain't no crime —

so when do I get one of mine?

they run a wire around the block —

no bricks, no gate, no wall.

inside the wire it's one house now,

and inside a house you carry it all.

the key is worn, it is never a load:

it's forged into the buckle of the belt,

and without it the whole belt drops —

that is the letter of the code.

the lift stops at each floor as it goes.

nobody presses. nobody sins.

a finger is work — a timer is not,

so the ride to the sixth is long and slow.

the timer wakes the lamp at five.

a finger is sin. a spring is fine.

on Saturday the goyim are in demand —

the most wanted woman in the land.

by the hat I set the fee:

a small one is one shekel, with the curls it's three.

they sell me the bread for a single coin

so it isn't theirs for the holiday.

I never come to take it away,

and they never ring to ask.

WELL PLAYED!

at the bank they take no interest — they take a share.

you're not a debtor, you're a partner there.

the seventh year the land must rest,

so they sell me the land — and the land gets no rest.

they move the sins to an innocent bird

and swing it over a guilty head.

but a bird is blood, feathers and fuss —

so now they swing a chipped coin instead.

and my own law is short and mean:

click, collect, and leave the scene.

the blood at circumcision — by mouth.

now, they say, through a glass tube instead,

so the herpes has nowhere to spread

from the mouth to the tiny little head.

(click)

chosen by god, the whole of them,

every blessing promised to them,

keep the clauses to the end

and the new world opens up for them.

but there is no line for me in the three thousand-year scheme.

I'm the gentile — gentle is a different word.

one ordinary never chosen — GOY!

wall up their tiny backdoor —

they cut another door.

wall that one up as well, and then:

a loophole inside the loophole. NO END!

baby goy, baby goy —

every law has a baby goy.

it ain't no cheat, it ain't no crime —

so when do I get one of mine?

muu-muu-uu-uu-uu…

muu-muu-muu-muu-muu-muu-uu-uu-uu…

come on, baby goy — turn the lights o-o-on…

muu-muu-muu-muu-uu-uu-uu…

you don't click the switch… I notice.

(click)